This one is for all the suckers who still believe in love... and for Brian!

So, that title is just the name of a song I was listening to. I have no idea if it will have anything to do with my blog. But this is for Brian because it annoys him when I take forever to post new blogs. And I'm abusing the beautiful things that he did for my blog by not posting. SOooooo.... yes. Well, I am doing pretty well this week. On Friday I had a pretty tough night; memories of Kenny just came flooding back into my heart and mind and I cried uncontrollably. It was bad. And this week has been okay. I started my Nannying job last week, and I'm taking care of these kids from 8:00 in the morning until 6:00 in the evening, so I don't really have a lot of time to be sad. But on Monday while the kids were in the family room playing, a music video came on by Martina McBride... I think the song is called God's Will. I listened to it, and there is a part where the little kid in the song gives her a picture that he drew, and on the picture I think it said "God and me love you" and the picture is of God and the little boy holding hands. And when I saw that I just starting crying... thank goodness the kids weren't in the same room, but they were close enough that they could hear me. Anyhoo.... I am doing good, but I still have my times when I will start thinking about Kenny and will cry. It's still really hard.

Some good news is that, now this is REALLY for Brian, I do have a boyfriend... I guess. We haven't really said if we are official or not, but it's pointless to say that we're not. His name is Mike and I've known him since May of my freshman year of highschool and he has pretty much been my best (guy) friend since then. And I've known for about a month that he's kinda had a thing for me since about January, but he's really shy and can be unsure about a lot of things, so of course we just flirted all the time. And then the night before my birthday he finally admitted to his feelings. And so then we became a little closer, but didn't hold hands or anything, which drove my friends Kat and Tanna insane because they knew how much he liked me and that he really wanted to hold my hand and kiss me. So, on the fourth of July, we all went to the Eagle Fireworks, and Mike and I were sitting next to eachother, and Tanna and Kat got sick of it and they were both like, "MIKE, just hold her frikin' hand already!" So we held hands the rest of the night. Then at about midnight-ish, he and I were on my door step just talking. I knew that he wanted to try to kiss me that night because he had told Kat and Tanna that he wanted to and of course they told me. So, I felt bad for him because he didn't know what to say to or do to get to the point of kissing me (this was his first kiss, yay for me!), so I finally just broke the ice and was like, "I know you wanna kiss me!" and he was like, "Yeah!" So we finally kissed. It was frikin' cool! And now we are almost inseperable, if it weren't for the fact that I work from 8 to 6, and he usually go to work at abou 5:00 and usually works close at McDonald's, so we don't really get to hangout, but I try to at least stop by McDonald's for a few minutes to say hi. I'm crazy about this guy. I mean, in a way I don't really feel any different because we've always been soooooooo close to eachother so it's about the same except that we hold hands, and cuddle and kiss. But then again, it's a lot different because I'm ALWAYS thinking about him and dieing to be with him when we're not together. It's a lot of fun! But yeah. Boyfriends are great... are ya happy now Brian??????? I'm done. Be cool, peace out!