Sick and Tired of Hurting.

So uh, pretty much I feel like my whole world is coming down around me all of the sudden.
I don't know why it had to happen or how it started to, but I had everything in this wonderful balance, but now it's all falling apart. I was so happy, and so content with how my life was going. I felt like nothing could bring me down, even if once in a while I had one thing I was upset about. I felt like for once in my life, everything was coming together; I was getting the respect I deserve (at least I thought it was respect), I was motivate to not procrastinate with school work, I was motivate to take better care of my physical self, and I was inspired to start working harder towards my future goals. But since the last couple of day, maybe the last 5 days to a week, I all of the sudden have lost my balance, which by the way, I was promised by a certain person that they would be there to catch me if I fall, and now they're turning from me, and I'm falling flat on my face.
This depression I'm going through is partly due to feelings I was trying to avoid with this person, I'll name him Nemo for privacy and to save myself the embarrassment I would get if other certain people new his real name.
Sooooo, I guess, in a nut shell, I knew better than to let myself like him, no matter how convincing he was that he seemed to like me. And I told myself everyday that I cannot like him and I wouldn't like him because I KNEW I would get hurt. But I'm just a stupid girl, and sometimes it's easier to just let things flow and stop fighting with yourself. So, I guess that's what ended up happening. I just felt like I had someone to lean on and to go to for cheering up. I felt safe and secure with him, and I thought I really saw myself in his eyes, at least once. I thought he really got me, and understood me even though we pretty much only know each other a half an inch past the surface. But I don't know. Everything just seemed okay with him and I was really happy. I had confidence, knowing that for some reason, this amazing guy was holding me... just me. But like I said, I knew I'd get hurt, so here I am. Pouring my heart out on an internet website. Some would say that's desperate because you can be noticed by millions on the internet if you really want to. But they can say what they want, I'm not desperate for attention, I'm desperate to find a way to not hurt anymore.
So, I will try, starting this second, to learn how to only let this feelings be on the surface. I do not want to get involved with any guy, for the rest of this year, all of next year, and at least the first year that I am in college. I have better things to do with my life and my heart than let some guy get to me like this. Excuse the language, but I'm going to just be a cold, hard bitch on the inside when it comes to guys trying to get close to me. I don't need them to make me happy! HA! I win!
Keeping the peace one day at a time!