Please God, just make my heart stop hurting.

So, I don't exactly know what to say. The last couple of days have been very hard to get through. I've felt like the entire world has gone from vibrant color to black, white, and gray... mostly gray. I feel like I have nothing inside of me, and I just feel like everything is moving in slow motion. Things like this only happen in the movies, at least to young people. It's not fair!
My friend Kenny Lloyd died on Wednesday, June 22, up at his High Adventure Boy Scout camp. He was on a zipline, and the wheel for the zipline somehow suddenly got stuck in the ropes, forcing Kenny to be flung off of the zipline. He fell about 15 feet, and the fall instantly killed him. It's been so hard to feel like getting up in the morning. I walk around the house all day, just wondering how my friends are doing, how his family is doing, and how any of us will ever be happy again. Kenny was such a big part of our lives. It was a big shock to all of us that someone as amazing as Kenny could be gone so fast, and without any warning. I miss him so much, and I just need some thing to do tonight because it's hard to sleep and find peace and rest when all I can think about is never seeing him again... in this life anyway. I just can't see how things will ever be good again, and I can't imagine going into the school halls this coming year... our senior year, and not having Kenny right there beside us. I've never felt my heart hurt like this before, I've never cried so much before, and I've never missed some one like this before.

Kenny, I just want to let you know that we all loved you so much, and that you meant the world to all of us. You'll always be my Goose, and I'll always let people call me Ashlee, just for you. I love you man, I can't wait until that beautiful day when we are all reunited in Heaven.