Yes yes y'all, I'm actually blogging on here today!

K, so I pretty much NEVER blog on here anymore, mostly because I use my myspace blog almost constantly. I also use that one because I know that there are people that actually read that one.
But today, I decided to use this blog, mostly because I know hardly ANYONE reads this one, and the people that do won't freak out because of what I post. And, it's kind of personal, so I don't want the whole
world reading about it.

So, I'm posting the lyrics to a Natasha Bedingfield song called Wild Horses.
I'm posting it on here, and not on myspace, because.... well, I guess I'll explain after you read the lyrics.

Wild Horses - Natasha Bedingfield

Ooooh
I feel these four walls closing in
Face up against the glass
I'm looking out, hmmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
There's greener pastures I'm thinking about
Hmm, wide open spaces far away
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but not feel scared

Ooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind,
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, ohwhoahh
Yeah, oh oh, ye-yeah

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare-back, care-free
Along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head-first, head-long
Without a thought
To act and DAMN the consequences
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear, but not feel scared

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind,
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh

I wanna run too
Oooh oh oh oh

Recklessly abandoning myself before you
I wanna open up my heart
Telling how I feel, ooh ooh

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind,
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses
Ooh ooooh ooh ooh ye-yeah yeah oohh
I wanna run with the wild horses,
ooooh

So yeah, I guess I'm posting it on here and not on myspace because, in reference to myself, that song basically says that I've got some fears that I just can't face, but I if only I could face them, and not care about the consequences. It's saying that I wish I could be free, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. I want to be able to feel like..... like the wild horses, I guess. I want to be this unstoppable spirit, that nothing can alter, or bring down, or tame. I want to love openly and not be so afraid of being used, rejected, lied to, whatever.... I want to trust everyone,
but I have to trust myself first and trust that my heart won't stop beating at the first sign of heartbreak that it feels.

And contrary to the popular belief, just because a girl talks about being afraid to love and being afraid to have her heart broken, it doesn't always mean that it's directed towards guys and dating and stupid crap like that.
So, just so ya know, that's not what this blog is about. : )

I guess I don't want a whole bunch of people reading this because I don't want them to know that I am not a brave and care-free as I seem to be on the outside. I'm not as confident and courageous as I pretend to be.
I still have a lot that I have to work through before I am that fearless, care-free, confident person, inside and out.

That's all. Peace out.