Something to do with nothing.

So, I don't have a real reason to be posting right now except that I just feel like it. I feel like I've got a million things on my mind right now and I don't know what to do or say to get them cleared up. So if I seem to just be rambling about nothing, then you know why.
So, I just found out like, maybe a couple of days ago, that Gerard Butler (okay, before I finish this sentance, I want to let anyone that smokes know that I really have nothing against you, and I am NOT trying to diss or get down on smokers. I'm sure that if you do smoke, you are completely aware that it is a terrible health risk, and I understand completely that it is your decision what you do with your body.) is a smoker. I can't believe it though! I mean, if you are an athlete, a singer, an actor, someone who does a lot of public speaking... you do not smoke because smoking ruins your voice. Well, I just assumed that since Gerard Butler has such an amazing singing voice, and a very sultry speaking voice, an amazing athletic build, and a very pearly white smile, that he couldn't possibly be unhealthy in any way. Man, I guess I was fooled. I mean, it totally wouldn't bother me if it was just some normal actor that isn't as multi-talented as Gerard, but for him to do something that is such a risk to all of his amazing talents, it just blew me away. Really, I think the reason that it got to me so bad was because I really started to look up to him as an inspiration to want to be as talented as he is. And now I don't find him as hot as I thought he was. I also was wondering, before I found out about all of this, why he didn't look as young as he is, and now I'm guessing that it is from the effects of smoking. Aaaaaa, it just kills me to know that he is just throwing away his voice for something like that.
Anyhoo! I'm so so so so so so sorry if anyone is offened by that. I really don't mean to be rude. It's just my opinion, that in the real world, means absolutely nothing, so don't even take it to heart, please!
Well, on a happier note (ha, note... that ironic because of what I'm going to talk about...) I just turned in my audition form for Solo Festival that is held at my high school. It is to determine who gets to go to State Solo Festival and, I guess, compete against other singers from High Schoolers all over the state. I had to go get my new song book with the song I am going to sing. It is call "Bist Du Bei Mir" by Bach. I am really excited to start learning it when I go to my next voice lesson! Yay! I really hope that I do good enough to get into State Solo. That would be awesome! I'm not going to get my hopes up though, because if I don't make it this year, I can still make it next year, and by this time next year, I will be a much better singer than I am now. It would still be cool to make state though, as a Junior. Along with the music thing, I don't know if I already mentioned this, but I am going to call a man that works for Opera Idaho and see if I can get an audition to be in the Opera Chorus. I am really excited about that, but I haven't made the phone call because I don't know what to say, so I'm going to talk to my friend's dad, who makes a living basically by calling complete strangers on the phone and talking to them, and ask him what I should say so that I sound a little more professional about it. I just want to make a good first impression, even over the phone. Well, I guess that's all for now. Take it easy, and don't party unless I'm there. Blog in heavenly peace!

I'm at school!

Greetings from me at while I'm at school. This is pretty cool, because I never blog anywhere else except home. This will probably be really short, but I got done with my assignment about 30 minutes early, and I just figured out that we could get on the internet. So, that's cool. Um... yeah.

Today has been really good at school just because I haven't had to do a lot of work or anything, and because it's FINALLY Friday. Woot! Oh, and I realized today that I have been spelling "finally" wrong for a while now. I used to spell it correctly, but something get messed up in my brain, I guess. Anyhoo. That was completely random, but that's okay because I am just a random type of person. And we have 7 minutes left until the bell rings to go home... 6 minutes now.
I can't wait to get home and kick it until I go babysitting. Ohhh, I'm so excited to see those kids again. I haven't seen this family since before Christmas because the went to California for a good long while during the Holidays. And they just got done moving into their new house this week, so now I get to go see them and the new house. I bet that it feels really nice for them because while they were waiting for their house to be built, they lived in this tiny cramped apartment. Anyhoo, I'm really excited for that and I am looking forward to hanging with the kiddies while their parents take a break and spend some quality time together. And the biggest thing you get out of it... can you say MONEY???? Oh yeah! Well, I have got 3 minutes left, so I gotta get going. Peace out for now!

Just stuff; me, music... Gerard Butler.

Hey there to all my beautiful and adoring fans! The wait is over, you no longer need to fret about when you get to read my next post, because here it is!
Sooooo, I don't really have a lot to talk about. I am just trying to find something to keep myself occupied so that I don't bother anyone by my pacing of the house. So, I guess I will just talk about random stuff that has no point of being talked about.
Well, last night, my friend Tanna and I both sang the National Anthem at the high school for the wrestling match going on, and we ROCKED! So many people were giving us compliments as we were walking out of the game to get to our Mutual activity. But we sounded soooooooooooo AWESOME! So, that was cool! After that we went to the church activity where we met up with some of our friends. We are doing a dance festival in April or May with all of the youth, so we were having our weekly practice last night. The whole time I was there, I danced with my buddy Andy, even though we were supposed to switch partners, neither of us wanted to go dance with anyone else, so we made people skip us. That was fun! He is like, one of the coolest guys I know, and one of my best friends. Then he took me home from the church just so I could ride in his Dad's Charger. Frikin' SWEET car! So, that was really awesome and we had a really fun time hanging out together, as we always do. So, even though I doubt it will happen, Andy, if you read this, YOU ROCK MY WORLD! Hahahaha!

Then today, I FINALY had my sining lesson. I didn't get to go last week because of having my wisdom teeth pulled, so I have been counting down the seconds for today's lesson. I think it went pretty well. I am working on getting my muscles to work right so that I can sing without stressing my throat. I am really wanting to work hard on getting my range a lot higher, and today while I was working on a song, a note was too high and I just couldn't hit it, which frustrated me because it doesn't seem like it's very high at all. So, my muscles in my throat started to hurt, so we stopped and I just talked to my teacher about how I've finally decided what kind of singing I want to do as a profession, and what we needed to work on to get me to that point so that I can study it in college and actually do it as my career. And I know I already said in my last blog, but I have decided that I want to be a professional Opera singer. So, she talked to me about that, and told me about the Opera Idaho place here in Boise that I had no idea about. She said that they are always looking for people for the Opera Chorus. So, she gave me a phone number to contact a guy that can tell me if and how I can be in the Opera Chorus. I'm soooo excited about making that phone call! I hope, I hope, I hope I can do this because I think that it will be a start to getting some kind of recognition and experience "under my belt."
Last, but most certainly not least, I would like to take a moment to talk about Gerard Butler... *sigh* I was reading a magazine article that was on GerardButler.net and it said that he is only 34 years old. I just thought that was interesting because I thought he was like 36 or 37. Useless piece of information, I know. But I'm a fanatic now, and when you're a huge fan of someone, you can't help but say stuff about them that has no meaning to anyone that hears or reads about it. (In my opinion, everyone needs to realize that Gerard is an AMAZING actor and singer, so everyone should start to pay more attention to the movies he has been in and will be in!) :) But uh, yeah. That's pretty much it. I guess I just said that to fix my mistake about his age. Unless the magazine article was wrong. I dunno!
Well, the evening is coming to a close. I need to make some phone calls before 9:00, then turn in for the night so that I can be rested enough to face my 4:45 a.m. wake up call of the alarm clock. Until next blog, remember who you are and what you stand for. Keep the peace alive!

I can stop day-dreaming... aaaaa!

Hello hello (hola! A little place called Vertigo!) That's a freakin' sweet song! Anyhoo! So, I guess things are better with my friends and everything, although I don't think that they even realized there was anything wrong. But of course, I always learn to put it behind me and move on without saying a word. I still need to call one of them and tell them how sorry I am about how things went for him. *Humph*
Anyhoo! I want to talk about something happy to make up for my last blog, it was so sad because I was REALLY sad. But now I am not, so I must do my best to bring the sunshine back to my blog!
Well, like the title says, I CAN'T STOP DAY-DREAMING! All I ever seem to think about is how badly I want to be an Opera singer, and someday meet Emmy Rossum because she is my idol! And then some how meet Gerard Butler! I mean, he is absolutely gorgeous, and like I've said before, his singing makes me melt, and he's such a charismatic actor! There is a part in the second Tomb Raider movie where his character Terri is talking to Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) about how she felt about him, and she says something like, "I used to find you charming." Then he gets this really hot smile/smirk on his face and says, "I am charming." And I'm sure it's true about him in real life! I just want to meet him soooooo bad! It's nice listening to his accent on the movie, but if I could hear him talk to me in real life, oh man, I would be in heaven! I can't get over his Scottish accent, and his green eyes! Too bad I'm like, a kid, and he's like 36 or 37 years old. But that's what I've been day dreaming about for the last week in a half. And I had to let it out.
Now I just need to go see the Phantom of the Opera one more time, and I think that will hold me over until it comes out on video. I really hope they don't wait until fall or something to release it! That would be so uncool! WAY uncool! Well, I guess that's it. I gotta get going. I need to go pick up my friend from school and give her a ride home because I went home early today. Yay for being able to come home and rest for a little bit! See ya later! Oh, and wish me and my friend Tanna luck. We're supposed to sing the National Anthem for the Wrestling match tonight! I hope we do good since we haven't practiced one single time! Peaceky weasky!

I need to find my own voice...

Hello dear friends. How are you on this lovely Sunday afternoon? I hope all is well. I hope that you are healthy, happy, and at peace in your lives.
If only I could feel peaceful and truly happy, but reality destroys all of that hopefulness within me. Today I wonder what I will do this time to tell myself that everything will be okay and that I will find that tomorrow will be full of wonderful feelings and complete happiness. But I can find no words, no feelings of comfort to help me understand why we have to hurt one another, why we have to say things that wound the spirit and put friendships in jeapordy.
Why do the people we love so dearly turn their backs on us when we need them the most? And why can't I find it within myself to stop people from saying the things they say? I wish that I could just scream at someone when they are causing conflict! But I'm so weak and I let everyone else speak for me, as if I have no mind, no control of my thoughts, as if I have no thoughts. I hate being treated like a child when I act more adult than most of the people that talk down to me.
I have a headache, a heartache, and an emptiness in my soul today because I was not able to say what I felt, because I knew if I did, it would just make everything worse. I feel like, in trying to find a way to spend time with friends and have an enjoyable night out together, I just planned the worst night that could possibly happen. If it had been anyone else that had planned the night out, everyone would have gotten along and had a good time, but when I try to do something good, it's like some unseen enemy throws it back in my face by making it terrible. Then I am the one that is to blame because it was all my idea. Why does this always have to happen?
I thought I could trust my friends, that they would know how to be pleasant and kind to one another, but I was wrong to trust. I always am. I think I am doing something right, but it's always wrong! I feel so lost now, just because of one stupid night, because of one STUPID idea, because I just wanted to be surrounded by the people I love and wanted them to know how much I love them. But I'm always wrong in what I do, no matter what my intentions are.
Maybe someday I will find my voice and be able to tell them that all I wanted was for all of them to realize how much I respected them, and that is why I thought everything would be okay. Maybe I will find the voice I need to tell them that what they thought I was thinking was wrong, and they will know where I stand! I hope for that, very soon.

I GOT THE SOUNDTRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOT! Yeah baby! Who has The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack? I DO! THAT'S RIGHT BABY! YEAAAAH! AHHH-HHHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES! Ohhhhhh I LOVE IT! Yay yay yay yay! I'm soooo happy! Now all I need is the movie to come out on DVD and then to get married to Gerard Butler so that he can sing to me when ever I want him to! LOL! Just letting you know, if you haven't seen the movie yet, YOU NEED TO DO IT NOW! I am absolutely in love with the music, the movie, the EVERYTHING! And I don't care who knows it! I haven't been this happy since the night before Monday! (If you don't know, that is when I had my wisdom teeth pulled) Oh man, seriously people, The Phantom is honestly the greatest thing to ever hit the big screen! Of course, everyone will say, "WHAT!", and then want to slap me because everyone is obsessed with LOTR. But The Phantom is even better than that, oh yeah! So, I guess all I really wanted to say was how happy I am to finally have the soundtrack to the movie! I am going to listen to it ALL the time! Gotta go, the music is calling my name...Emily! BYE!

Who loves the Phantom of the Opera... I DOOOO!!!!!!!

I can't hold it in any more! I LOVE THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! And I am absolutely dieing to get the soundtrack, but of course both of the Wal-Marts I went to didn't have any copies. I wish I had money of my own so that I could just go over to Best Buy or somewhere that would actually have the soundtrack, and buy it RIGHT NOW! It's driving me crazy because I have to hear Gerard Butler's voice again! He is such an abolutely fabulous singer and I can't get enough of it! I found out some pretty cool stuff about him, like the fact that he's Scottish! And oh boy is his accent HOT! He is magically babe-alicious!
Um... anyhoo! I just thought that everyone should know that. Lol. Yeah...
So, today is the third day since I have had my wisdom teeth pulled and today has been the worst day for pain. I mean, it's hurts to talk, to swallow, to move my tongue or cheeks at all. So, right now I look like I'm all ticked-off and stuff, but really I just can't smile all that much. And I don't want to take any Vikaden right now because I don't want to be all sleepy. But I really want this pain to go AWAY! And the only way I can get my thoughts out right now is to do my blog. But my thoughts are all mixed up and cluttered because I am trying to ignore the pain and think of things that will distract me. Oy vay!
Well, I guess that's all for now. I don't know what else to talk about. Love, peace, and hamburger grease!

Yay for not being in tons'o pain!

Woot! Okay people, it's official, I am SOOOO glad that I will never have to have my wisdom teeth pulled ever again! I'm not in a lot of pain, compared to other people who had early appointments like me and had to go all day hopped up on Vikaden. Me, nah! I just barley took a presription Ibprofen, and that's all I have taken.
Even all the numbing stuff has worn off and I am doing great. It's just my lower right side of my mouth that is kinda bugging me. It just feels like the way a really bad cut on your gums feels, which is exactly what I have, but ya know what I mean? It's not that whole throbing pain that everyone seems to go through. It has been really great!
I had the surgery at 8:00 a.m. ( and just to let you know, yes, I did
cry, right after they put the needle in my arm, but I cried because they were pressing down on my arm, ontop of where the needle was still in, so it REALLY hurt! And now I have a bruise.), then I got all drugged up with the stuff that makes you feel like you're floating right before you fall asleep, and the next thing I remember the nurse is handing me my coat and I was on my way home. I got home and slept from about 9:30-ish to about 11:30 and I have been wide awake and hyper all afternoon. And there has been no bleeding since about 4:00. So, I am on my way to a quick recovery, woot! I'm so happy! *Sigh*
So, that is a HUGE plus. I may even be able to go to my singing lessons on Thursday after all. And speaking of singing, The Phantom Of The Opera officially ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!! My cousin and I went and saw the new one last night, to cheer me up before I had to have my teeth pulled. And OH MY HEAVENS! The guy that plays the Phantom is absolutely gorgeous, and he voice is even better! All praise Gerard Butler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is a god of singing!!!!!!!!!!!! You may remember him as the leading man from Laura Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life. I haven't seen that yet, but now I have to! Anyhoo! That is an AMAZING movie and I knew the music was good, but I didn't know it was THAT good! I loved loved loved loved loved it! And since I'm not going to school tomorrow, I might just go see it again! WOOT! Well, that is all for now. Keep it real, and never forget that you're loved! Tcho!

Top'o the day t'ya!

Fist off, I am going to say I'm sorry that this will be a long post. SO, here we go... Yep, it's official that it is impossible to please the entire world, no matter how hard you try! No matter how pleasing you are, or happy, or funny, or kind, or sympathetic, or charitable, or humble, or loving... none of it seems to matter! I can't stand it anymore! GEH!!!!!!!! I think it's because I actually WANT to be a great person and the darker forces are at work against me. Well, cheers to them, or it, what ever it may be, I say CHEERS because even though I want to give up, I'M NOT GONNA! SO THERE! So, if anyone has a problem with people that like to be loved, you can just BITE ME! Ha!
And in other news, I like to rant and rave about pointless crap that nobody cares about! Yay! Okay, seriously, I do have something to talk about, but if you don't want to read about depressing stuff, you shouldn't read on. But if you care enough to read on, please do!
Anyhoo! So, I will try to make this short, but today I discovered that I was dead-wrong about a feeling I was having, and I'm really glad that I realized it today, instead of letting the feeling get stronger and then getting hurt later on. If you're wondering, yes, it has to do with a guy. And this is about the first time that I have mentioned it, except when I talk to my cousin about it. She's the only one I've talked to about liking this guy, and now, tonight, I get to cry on her shoulder and tell her how wrong I was. So, okay, in a nut-shell... I thought he liked me, and I thought things were going really well, but he said something today that changed everything and now I want someone to rip my heart out of my chest so I don't have to feel it breaking anymore. I am DONE with all this "feelings" stuff because I am SICK of always being depressed and hurt over STUPID GUYS! (Please, if you are a guy, do not take any offense, I am just unhappy, and this does not mean I think all guys are the same.) So, that's pretty much it.
OH! I have also decided that I am going into a coma on Valentines Day. I bet you can guess why I feel like that. But it's kinda my fault because I watch too many chick flicks, and those make me day dream about all this hopeless romantic stuff. But my dream Valentines day would be, to be at school and recieve an anonymous Valentine that is home-made that just says "Be My Valentine." Then later that day, while at home, get a knock on the door or hear the door bell ring and open the door to find, not a person, but a boquet of a dozen red and white roses with a note that says something like, "If you're answer to the first question was yes, and you will be my Valentine, then meet me at (insert a place to meet, preferably somewhere public. I see at the Gazeebo at Heritage Park in Eagle at about sunset) at (insert time, ya know, sunset) and be ready for a romantic night out on the town. Signed anonymous. So, I'd get all beautified and then have someone at least accompany me until I know how the person is, so it's safe. And he'd be dressed up ( doens't mean the guy would have to be wear a tux or anything.) Then we'd go have a nice dinner ( I think homemade Candle-lit dinners are the best! With slow music playing). Then when we're done eating, he stands up, puts his hand out, and asks me if I want to dance, then we dance to a song that he specially picked just for that dance. And then he gets me home before or by midnight (because I respect my parents and their generous curfew), with a possible goodnight kiss on the porch, depending on how well we know each other and what not. So, yeah, I know, it's REALLY lame that I have that all planned out, but that's how my perfect Valentine's Day will happen, someday, with a few unexpected things here and there. So, I will be home Valentines Day watching old, mushy, sad, depressing, love movies, eating chocolate, curled up with tons of blankets, just dreaming about when that day comes. *Sigh*...hmmmm... well. That's it. I just had to let that known, so everyone can know how lame I am. Have a GREAT day and I hope to hear from you! Much love. So sorry it's such a Long Post!

Will the real Slim-something or other please stand up!

Good Sunday to you all! And good grief, you gravy growing grave-digger! HA! I bet you don't know what type of poetry that is! I do! But I have just forgotten the name of it... so blah! I will figure it out later, because I have it in my English note book for school.
Oh boy, school *gag*, why me? Why any of us? This week is finals week for first semester, and I sure am not looking forward to it. Although, it's a pretty sweet deal because I take my Zero hour class final Tuesday morning, then we don't have that class for the rest of the week. WOOT! (But then it will be really hard to get a good parking spot if we don't get there early. Hmmm..) And then Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday we're only in school until about 11:00 or sometime very close to that. It's AWESOME! Yay! But there is still the issue of AAAAAAAAAAA! Translation: "Oh my HECK! I think I'm going to just fall over, dead from all this stress! Geh!" So, I wish I could take some really strong sedatives to knock me out after school, so that I don't have to stress until the next morning. But hey, that's life and we all have to go through it.
Next subject of great importance... I don't really know exactly how to say it. *Sigh*- I guess it's just that it's really annoying that no matter how hard one tries to be a great person and be positive all the time and be a friend to anyone and everyone, they still get royally screwed up the wazoo! And noooo, I'm not just talking about me, so get over it! I'm talking about anyone who is like that, which is most people I know. It just seems so unfair that the good people and innocent people who do the things that they are supposed to do are the ones that end up being screwed the worst. Take, for a very good example, the countries that have been devistated by the unbelievable wrath of Mother Nature. Those people were struggling enough and just doing all they could to survive and make some kind of a living, but oh no, that's not gonna happen. And they get it, bad!
I mean, you can't blame anyone or anything for this. It's just that it really sucks and it's hard to understand why it had to happen. And all I feel like I can do is sit back and listen to it happen. I want to help so much when ever there is any kind of thing going on, whether it is a matter with a family memeber or a friend, or a world crisis, but I am powerless, and I hate that. I pray all the time for help and understanding and comfort, but I wish I had a more physical way of helping. But we can't all be super-hero's and I guess I just have to keep believing in the power of pray and have faith that things will all turn out right in the end.
So, like the title of this post, it may not seem that when you are going through hard times, that anyone is there to help, but really you just have to take a stand within yourself and believe that you are the one person that can fix your problems before anyone else can. Sorry this was so long, but when ya gotta vent, ya gotta vent! Keep it real, ya'll! Keep the faith alive! Peace!

Holy Swiss Cheese, Batman!

Hello all my faithful fans and not-so-much-fans out there! My oh my, how time does fly when you're having too much fun! Christmas and New Year's just rushed by like a... something that rushes by you really fast. I was REALLY enjoying my two week break from school, but it was gone, just like that. Just "POOF" and it was over and I was back to getting up at 4:45 a.m. The first morning really wasn't that bad, but by the afternoon I was pissing off all my teachers because I was almost falling asleep. Oh, and on that note, teachers need to frikin' LIGHTEN UP! I mean, it was the first day back, and they were all angry and frustrated that people were tired! WELL HELLO!!!!!!! We were sleeping in until noon, so just give us a day to get back to normal!
Anyhoo! So, I am almost done with first semester, and as I mentioned in a previous blog, I was doing poorly in Chem., and now I am failing and dropping the class this coming semester. So, yay for sucking at stuff like that. I HATE FAILING, but I'm getting pretty freakin' good at it, which is bad. So, I'm sorry, I have to say this, but... I HATE MYSELF! Yay. I just feel like I can't get anything right anymore, so la dee frikin' da!
Other than that crappy piece of information, life is pretty great. All of my other grades are C's and higher, and so I am very happy about that! And, well, I don't know if I really want to talk about the other good things going on in my life right now because it's a secret, so there! But let me tell ya, they are GOOOOOOD! YAY!!!
*Cough, grumble* moving on... Right then! I guess there isn't really much to talk about. I, once again, did not get a New Year's kiss, but who freakin' cares! I think that I will save that one special kiss for the guy I end up marrying or something cool like that. Guys are soooo over-rated and so is steady dating. I mean, it's great and all, but being single and able to check-out and flirt with any guys you want it FAN-Freakin'-TASTIC! So, I don't feel bad or left out or loser-ish just because I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have one because I don't want one! Muahahahaha! Woot for me! K, I'm sooo done now. I bid you a found peace out!